


Parting Postponed

by Hummingbird1759



Series: Discidium [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Bromance, Episode Fix-It: s07e25 Endgame (Star Trek: Voyager), Episode: s01e01 Caretaker, Episode: s02e20 Investigations, Episode: s03e03 The Chute, Episode: s03e26 Scorpion, Episode: s05e09 Thirty Days, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Male Friendship, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29190234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hummingbird1759/pseuds/Hummingbird1759
Summary: Five times Harry Kim didn't have to say goodbye to Tom Paris, and one time when he did.
Relationships: Harry Kim & Tom Paris
Series: Discidium [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2143068
Comments: 18
Kudos: 17





	1. Caretaker

_My first mission and I’m going to die._ That’s all Harry’s been able to think for the last few days. _It’s my first mission, and I’m going to die. I’m twenty-two, I graduated from the Academy two months ago, and now I’m going to die in the Delta Quadrant. My parents will never even know what happened to me._

Crouching on the staircase with B’Elanna, Harry wonders how in the hell he got into this mess, and more importantly, how in the hell they’re going to get out. _Maybe someone from_ Voyager _or the_ Val Jean _noticed we’re missing?_ Selfishly, he hopes _Voyager_ finds them first; Starfleet would rescue both of them but he’s not sure that the Maquis would be so merciful.

_You can’t count on Tom to save you this time. Remember what Cavit and Dr. Brennan said about him? Spoiled brat, son of an admiral, never did anything for anyone else, only serves his own interests, only cares about who’s buying his next beer._

_But then why did he stop that Ferengi?_

_Nevermind. Focus on getting out of here. Get your breath back and…._ Harry’s head whips up at the sound of a familiar voice.

“I see them.” Tom says into his combadge. He charges up the steps towards them, a strange looking alien (who Harry will find out is Neelix) close behind. An Ocampa woman (who Harry later knows as Kes) gamely dogs their heels. 

“Took you long enough.” Harry feigns annoyance as Tom slides his arm around him.

With typical bravado, Tom replies, “How could I let down the only friend I've got?

Harry jokes, “Who says I’m your friend?”

Paris, Neelix, and Kes lead Harry and B’Elanna to safety, and the five of them prepare to beam back to _Voyager_. As they’re waiting for transport, an explosion echoes from the tunnel where Janeway is (along with, Harry will later learn, Chakotay and Tuvok). As Harry, B’Elanna, and Kes beam away, Tom and Neelix rush back in for the others.

Once he’s safely back on _Voyager_ , a childhood memory bubbles up in Harry’s mind.

_“You’re doing your science project with Jacob?” His mother demanded._

_Thirteen-year-old Harry shrugged. “Nobody else would.”_

_“I’m going to speak to Mrs. Patel about that! That boy is a bad influence!”_

_Harry protested, “No, Mom! We’ve already got a plan and everything! If I have to change partners now, I’ll have to start all over and I’ll never get done in time!”_

_Harry refrained from telling his mother that the last time she spoke with Mrs. Patel, she made a scene and his classmates laughed at him for weeks afterwards._

_Mrs. Kim grudgingly relented at the possibility of Harry getting a less-than-stellar grade on a major project, but she watched the boys like a hawk every time Jacob was over. The project was occasionally frustrating because Harry often had to explain things to Jacob multiple times before he understood them, but the boys eventually pulled it together. Harry would never forget the look on Jacob’s face when Mrs. Patel gave them an A on their project. “I’ve never gotten an A on a science project before.”_

Harry smiles to himself. He and Jacob had remained friends over the years, and his mother had learned to like the boy, which was as close as Mary Kim had ever come to admitting that she’d been wrong. _And the first time she realized I could make my own decisions._ Whether it was his parents or a commanding officer, Harry didn’t need anyone else’s input on who his friends should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Harry's dialogue is from "Caretaker."


	2. Investigations

Harry stomps into Tom’s quarters, angrier than he’s ever been in his life. “What the _fuck_ , Tom? You’re leaving _Voyager_ and you couldn’t even tell me yourself?!?”

“Yeah, because I knew you’d react like this,” Tom grumbles.

Harry snorts, “Tom, I’m your best friend, or at least I thought I was. You couldn’t come up to me and say, ‘Oh by the way, I’m hopping on a Talaxian convoy and you’ll never see me again?’ I had to hear it from Neelix in the mess hall!”

Tom’s shoulders droop and he lets out a puff of air. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I wanted to but… the opportunity to join the convoy just cropped up yesterday and I had to act fast if I was going to take it. I didn’t expect Neelix to spill the beans to everybody.”

Harry protests, “So you’re just giving up on ever getting home?”

Tom rolls his eyes and spits, “I don’t _have_ a home. And I don’t want one, either.”

Harry gulps. He knows that what he’s about to say is pathetic and childish, but he can’t stop himself. “But what about me?”

Tom walks over to Harry and puts his hands on Harry’s shoulders. “Harry, you’re the only good thing that’s happened to me in years, and you’re the only one on this barge that I’m going to miss.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Harry replies, agony all over his face.

Tom’s tone turns steely as he says, “But I meant what I said that first day: I’m not a good luck charm. You’re better off without me.”

“I still don’t need anyone to choose my friends for me. Please reconsider,” Harry counters, and stalks out of Tom’s quarters and off to the Ready Room.

* * *

“Captain, isn’t there anything you can do?” The words come out petulant, and Harry is immediately embarrassed. _Dammit. Am I twenty-three or twelve?_

Janeway regards him dispassionately. “Mr. Kim, I take it that you’ve already spoken to Mr. Paris about his decision?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Harry replies sheepishly.

Still stone-faced, Janeway snaps, “If _you_ haven’t been able to talk him out of it, what makes you think I can?”

Harry looks down at the floor and sighs, “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

Janeway’s expression melts slightly and she says, “Harry. Come have a seat,” motioning towards the couch. When they’re both sitting down, she continues, “For me, the most rewarding part of being a captain is watching younger officers grow, and no two officers on this ship have exemplified that more than you and Mr. Paris.”

Harry eyes her skeptically. “What do you mean, Captain?”

Janeway’s face takes on a maternal warmth. “The two of you haven’t just formed a tight bond; you’ve both become better people because of your friendship. Obviously, Tom still struggles in that department, but he’s made big strides in becoming a kinder person since he’s known you. And you’ve grown a lot too – the Harry Kim I met at Deep Space Nine wouldn’t have dared to have this conversation with me.”

Harry nods bashfully. “No. He wouldn’t.”

The captain smiles kindly at him and says, “One of the difficult parts of being a Starfleet officer that no one tells you about at the Academy is how strong your friendships with fellow officers can become, and how upsetting it can be when they’re inevitably reassigned. They’re more than just your colleagues, they’re your family. I know this hurts, Harry, and I don’t blame you for the way you’re reacting. But Tom has to do what’s best for himself.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Harry sighs.

“Now, we’ll rendezvous with the Talaxian convoy tomorrow. Maybe you should spend Tom’s last night on board with him.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Harry replies with a wan smile.

“Dismissed,” she says quietly, and Harry departs.

The following afternoon, Harry, Kes, and Neelix meet Tom in the transporter room. Harry hugs Tom and wishes him luck. Tom gives him his combadge, and Harry slips it into his pocket. He knows he should throw it in the recycler as soon as Tom leaves, but he can’t force himself to do it. Instead, he takes the combadge back to his quarters and puts it in a desk drawer. _Maybe he’ll want it back…_

* * *

Several days later, Harry is on the Bridge when the sensors pick up an odd reading. _I knew it!_ “Captain, I have an incoming Kazon shuttle with one human lifesign aboard.”

“A human lifesign?” Janeway repeats.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Is the shuttle within transporter range?”

“Not yet, ma’am… at its current speed it will be about ten minutes… and Kazon ships are pursuing and firing on it.”

 _Come on, Tom… just a little farther,_ Harry silently pleads as Engineering works to boost the transporter’s range. _If anybody can get in range fast enough, he can. If anybody can get the transporter boosted, our Engineering can._

Every muscle in Harry’s body relaxes when he hears that Tom is safe in the transporter room.

Several hours later, after Harry’s shift ends, he drops by Tom’s quarters. Tom opens the door and seems surprised to see him. “Um… hi. Come in,” Tom says awkwardly.

Tom starts to stammer out an apology, but before he can get more than a word out, Harry throws his arms around him and says, “Shut up. I’m just glad you’re back.”

Tom returns the embrace and says, “I’m glad to be back.”

They pull apart and Harry holds out his closed fist. “I have something of yours,” he says, and opens his hand to reveal Tom’s combadge. 

A wide smile spreads across Tom’s face. “Thanks. Dinner?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Harry grins back, and they head for the mess hall.


	3. The Chute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains references to rape. Skip it if that upsets you.

The night they return from Akritiri, Harry lies in bed staring at the ceiling and wondering why the hell he’s still awake. Everything was supposed to be fine now. The captain and Tuvok got them out of prison. They returned to _Voyager_ safely. The clamps were out of their heads. Tom’s stab wound was repaired. Tom forgave Harry for trying to kill him. They had their amazing dinner. And Harry’s dog-tired; he should have dozed off as soon as his head hit the pillow.

But it’s 0200 and Harry still can’t sleep, can’t even seem to blink. He’s that frustrating mix of exhausted and keyed-up that feels like too long awake and too much coffee. It’s simultaneously too quiet and too loud, too hot and too cold, and however he flops around, he can’t seem to get comfortable. Any time he closes his eyes, he sees Tom getting stabbed. He sees the inmate’s throat slit. He hears the sounds of beatings and rapes and deaths, smells the stench of unwashed bodies and everything that comes out of them. He tries to distract himself with engine schematics or Mozart concertos, but his brain just will not shut up.

And then there’s Zio.... _no no no NO don’t think about that or you’ll never get any sleep. Think about the dinner... cherry pie was good but I miss pecan... wouldn’t have been as good as Mom’s..._

_What about Tom? Did he actually forgive me? Maybe he’ll feel differently in the morning. Maybe he actually hates me now. Maybe…_

Suddenly, his door chimes and Harry nearly jumps out of his skin. _Who the hell?_ With the ire unique to an insomniac, he trudges out of his bedroom and grunts, “Come in.”

He blinks at the sight of Tom, pajama-clad and bleary-eyed, in his quarters. “I can’t sleep,” Tom tells him in an uncharacteristically small voice.

Harry’s shoulders sag with relief and he murmurs, “Me neither. Come on.” He takes Tom’s hand and leads him back to the bedroom, where they fall onto Harry’s bed facing each other, close together but not quite touching.

“Thank you,” Tom whispers.

“Any time,” Harry breathes. “You still trust me?”

Tom smirks. “I’m in your bed, aren’t I?” 

Harry smiles back weakly but says nothing.

Tom’s smile evaporates as he searches Harry’s eyes, and Harry sees a shadow flit across his friend’s face. _How much do you remember? Please don’t ask me about it tonight... or ever._

Tom takes Harry’s hand and whispers, “We’re safe.”

Harry nods, and they fall asleep listening to the sound of each other’s breath. When Harry opens his eyes the next morning, Tom is watching over him and still holding his hand.


	4. Scorpion

Everything stings and burns and aches. Species 8472 is relentless, vicious, and incredibly slow as it digests Harry. The Doctor says he’s working on a cure, but who knows how long that will take? Harry isn’t sure how long he’s been in sickbay – a day? A week? A year? Probably not a year. It feels like a century, though.

Tom’s voice cuts through his suffering. “Har, you’ve got to get better. The Delaney sisters won’t go out with me if you’re not there.”

_I knew they were smart._

“Sandrine misses you. So does B’Elanna. And Neelix. And Chakotay. And everyone else.”

_I miss them too._

“Especially me. I need you, Har. The Bridge isn’t the same without you.”

_I need you too. I’m glad you’re here._

“I’m not the same without you.”

_Is he crying?_ The tendrils have made Harry’s vision hazy, but he can still hear, and Tom sounds even smaller and more lost than he did after Akritiri. _You’ll be okay, Tom. Whatever happens, you’ll be okay. You survived before. You’ll do it again._

The Doctor interrupts, “Mr. Paris! Mr. Kim needs to rest if he’s to have any hope of recovery. And furthermore, I would think the ship’s pilot has more important duties right now.”

Tom grumbles, “All right, Doc, I’m going. I’ll be back as soon as I can, Harry.”

_I’ll try to stay alive that long._

He isn’t sure how long the fire and acid and throbbing continue. After what seems like a millennium, he hears The Doctor say something about a tingling sensation in his carotid artery, as if Harry would be able to notice anything like that now. Suddenly, the tendrils no longer obscure his vision, his face no longer hurts, and he can see The Doctor and Chakotay standing over him. 

“Nice to see you again, Ensign,” the doctor says with his usual smugness.

Two days later, he’s back on the Bridge. The first thing he sees is Tom smiling at him from the helm, and it feels like coming back home.


	5. Thirty Days

Tuvok looks up from his station and says, “Captain, there has just been an unauthorized launch from Shuttle Bay One, _The Delta Flye_ r.”

Janeway says what Harry is thinking. “Tom.”

_You idiot. What have you done?_

They attempt to hail Tom, but he doesn’t respond, and he’s too far away for a tractor beam. And then the Moneans hail, and Harry knows that all hell is about to break loose. Janeway explains that she thinks Tom and Riga are about to take some sort of radical action to protect the ocean, and Burkus’ response makes Harry’s stomach turn.

“Then I presume you intend to take radical action to stop them.”

Harry gulps. He knows what “radical action” means to Captain Janeway; presumably, it means the same thing to Burkus. Harry attempts to hail the _Flyer_ , but Tom refuses to answer. Harry watches as the captain seethes; he can feel the anger radiating off of her.

Tuvok, Chakotay, and Janeway discuss options for taking down the _Flyer_ , and Harry’s heart pounds. _They’re going to kill him._ He knows Tom brought this on himself and he shouldn’t question the captain, but at the same time, he can’t sit idly by while they conspire to kill his best friend.

“Captain, this is Tom we're talking about. We're not going to open fire, are we?” Harry asks, wide-eyed.

Janeway turns her laser-beam focus on Harry, stalks over to him, and barks, “As far as I'm concerned, he forfeited his status as a protected member of this crew the second he launched that shuttle.”

 _Shit. Tom, you moron, of all the times to develop principles._ At the captain’s order, Harry hails the _Flyer_ , and he hears her tell Tom that she will open fire if he doesn’t turn back now. _Tom, you know she’s serious. Stop being stupid and come back!_

Tom ignores Janeway’s threats. _Of course._

Time seems to slow down as Harry listens to Tuvok count down the time to weapons range. _Tom, please don’t do this._ When Tuvok fires the torpedo, Harry watches the viewscreen numbly, fists clenched as he waits to hear that the _Flyer_ has been destroyed.

But it isn’t.

The _Flyer_ is merely disabled. _Voyager_ tractors it back, and Tom is demoted and sentenced to thirty days in solitary. When he gets out, Harry meets him in the mess hall for breakfast.

“You are such an idiot. The captain was literally going to kill you,” Harry lectures, hoping he can make Tom understand just how worried he was.

“I know,” Tom gripes.

Harry’s expression melts, and then he leans in and says quietly, “But off the record, I think you did the right thing.”

Tom grins at him and whispers, “By the way… I finished the letter.”

Harry grins back at him. _Maybe there’s hope for him yet…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue on the Bridge is from Thirty Days.


	6. McKinley Station

This was the goal, right? To get home?

Well, Harry would be lying if he said he didn’t want to get home. He missed Myrtle Beach. He missed South Carolina barbecue and his mom’s pecan pie. He missed Libby, even though he knows she’s moved on by now. He missed his friends. He missed his parents.

But.

Now that _Voyager_ is actually here, now that he’s really about to walk through the airlock at McKinley Station, Harry is filled with dread. He loves his parents, but being an only child has always been a little – okay, a lot – suffocating. _Having_ _no siblings means no one else for mom and dad to pin their hopes and dreams on or obsessively worry about._ His parents will think he’s still the naïve kid who shipped out for Deep Space Nine seven years ago. _Hell, my mom still thinks I’m ten._ But he’s seen and done things they can’t possibly understand, been hurt in ways they can’t imagine, lost people he cared for deeply. It would take a lifetime to explain all of that, and Harry doesn’t even know how he’d start.

He takes a deep breath, steps through the airlock and scans the host of families waiting at McKinley’s main plaza. And there, over to the right, he sees them.

“Mom! Dad!” He hollers, and despite his reservations, he starts grinning like the Cheshire Cat. He dashes over as quickly as he can without making a fool of himself and his mother and father hug him simultaneously.

Both of his parents are weeping for joy, and Harry can’t help himself from joining in. _Home. I’m finally home._ “I missed you so much,” he bawls.

“We missed you too, son,” his mom cries.

Harry pulls himself together, then glances over at Tom and B’Elanna. B’Elanna is chatting with Tom’s overjoyed mother, who is holding Miral, and Tom is… holy shit. Tom and his father are _hugging_. Harry makes a mental note to get the story behind this. He points over to the Paris clan and tells his folks he has some people he wants them to meet.

Harry, with his parents in tow, approaches Tom and B’Elanna and says, “Mom, Dad, this is my _Voyager_ family – Tom Paris, B’Elanna Torres, and their daughter, Miral.”

“So, this is the Tom Paris we’ve heard so much about,” Mary Kim says with a wide smile.

Julia Paris tells the Kims, “The last time I saw Tom, he was all rough edges. Harry has softened him,” and she nods at Tom and Owen cooing at baby Miral.

The Kims likewise say that Tom has been good for Harry – he stands a little taller, speaks a little louder. He still looks younger than his years, but at the same time he seems so much wiser than when he left for Deep Space Nine.

All good things must come to an end. When it comes time to say goodbye, Tom and Harry are the last ones to do so, and they hug each other as if they’re clinging on for dear life. _I should say something_ , he thinks. But what can he say to Tom, this man who’s been the brother he never had since the first day - hell, the first _minute_ they met? 

“Tom… I… you’re…” Harry stammers, tears welling up. 

Tom squeezes him and whispers, “I know, Harry. You too.”

He squeezes Tom back, and they hold the embrace just a little longer. Then Harry wipes his eyes, and the Parises walk over to the shuttle bay while he and his family head for the transporter station. He wonders if he, Tom, and B’Elanna will ever have a chance to pull a prank on a captain again, or be able to gossip about the same crew, or message each other at their workstations. A pang goes through him as he realizes the answer is probably no – even if Tom and B’Elanna stay in Starfleet, the odds of them being assigned to the same ship as Harry are small. And who knows if his next commanding officers will be as tolerant of such behavior as Janeway and Chakotay were? _A captain like Picard would probably have kept us in the brig after that first year._

If you’d asked Harry a week ago what he’d miss about the Delta Quadrant, he’d have emphatically replied, “Not a damn thing.” But now that the journey is truly over, he understands that there is something he’ll miss, something he took for granted all too often.

He thinks back to the kid he was that day at Deep Space Nine, and he wishes he could trade places with him.


End file.
